Feel so lousy about everything ugh. This too shall pass.

There's sadness in her voice that no one seems to grasp and there's this hollowness in her gaze that no one seems to detect. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes and her laughter doesn't penetrate deep. She is broken but nobody knows. She is drowning but nobody is saving her.

No one knows how much she's hurting. No one knows why she's hurting. Not even herself.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually really drowning myself in homework. I hate this feeling I really do.

SNNB'13

Today, we played our last game together as a b'div. 

It was bittersweet. 

I really really didn't want the game to end and I just really wanted everybody together on court, for the last time. 

When the last whistle was blown, I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with a joy I can't quite put together, overwhelmed by a sadness I can't quite describe. It hurts so much knowing that this is the last time this season we'll step off court, do three cheers, thank the umpires and go to the secret alley for the debrief. It hurts so much knowing that every good thing comes to an end.

Dearest b'div: 

I'm sorry our season ended earlier than it should have. I'm sorry things don't always go the way we expect it to go. I guess sometimes no matter how much we want something and how hard we fight to achieve it, we just don't get it. We don't always get what we want. And that's life. For better or for worse. But yknow what, it's ok. It's really ok. We've been through so much together as a team and I am thankful. No one knows how much, no one except us. Since sports trip we've been the misunderstood. The punching bag. And we had shit luck throughout zonals, getting one tough group after the other. But did we ever let that knock us down? No. Through these blunders we came out stronger and we fought back harder. And I know that as long as I've got you guys, nothing in this world can ever be too difficult to handle. Even though this venture has not taken us to where we intended to go, but this journey with you guys has been hella amazing. We played our first game on 1 Feb and played our last game on 1 March. Throughout these 29 days I have never regretted anything. We didn't win a medal. But what we've won is the most amazing team ever, and that's really all that matters. Thank you for being the best team anyone could ever ask for. You guys mean more than anything in the world to me and I love y'all so so much. 

This beginning has to end but this end is just a beginning of many new beginnings.

Our journey doesn't stop here.

Thank you for such a great season to remember :')

Dearest c'div:

We're sorry that we couldn't win Top 4 and go to nationals together with y'all. We really wanted it to be the first year two divisions make it through but things don't always work out the way we want them to. Just know that you guys are an amazing team and the seniors are just so so proud of you. It was so exhilarating watching y'all play that match against SJC and it was so heart warming watching how you guys took it in your stride and won the game even though you guys had a shaky start. I know that you babies have it in your pocket. Go through to nationals and win it. For yourselves, and for us. You guys have so much potential in you and the seniors have so much faith in you. 

Nothing can stand in your way, ever.

I'm really so glad that we've all became so close and how we're not really two different divisions but just One Division. Knowing that you can fall back on 23 other people is one of the most heartening feelings ever. The past week has been so much fun. There's this amazing bond that binds us all together and nothing can ever break it. 

I don't want to step down.