You know how sometimes, you just keep searching for something? You search for an answer, a clue, a former clarity, even. But right now, I'm searching for something that even I don't know of, and it scares me. Because what if, I'll never find it, and l never stop feeling this empty? But really, I hate feeling this lost.

chasing the sun

I love the sun, sometimes. I love how it makes my skin tingle with warmth, I love how it burns (all) my troubles away, I love how it just makes me feel alive. It makes me feel full of hope, like greater possibilities await, like anything can happen next. I love the sun, until it intensifies, and I cringe and my eyes close, and all I can see is darkness. 

(The crazy things I think about on the journey home.)

free

Friday-Saturday

Met Shannon (Wong) on Friday night for DESERT :-) Went to TCC and had a chocolate feast. It was really fun I missed this girl so much omg. We talked about possibly anything under the sun and updated each other about our lives haha. Then cabbed to her place and I slept over. Again, we talked and laughed so much awwh love her so much. It was a really great Saturday morning because Abraham replied me on twitter and I woke up beside the bestest friend ever so :') I can't even omg he's so sweet.

Left her place at 11 to meet Celeste and Micaela at Saybons for lunch then headed to town (again) for shopping :-) Went to meet mummy afterwards to cut my hair. But I was really annoyed later at night and bought almost everything in NTUC like I just dumped everything (aka miso paste what even) into the trolley and ate 10 xiao long baos myself!!! Ok but then it got ok and I went to sleep happy yay.

Sunday

Rolled in bed til 11.30 and went to meet Cheryl Yusee Rui Ching and Lik Qi for lunch at Pique Nique. 

The food was generally quite bad and it was super expensive! The atmosphere and interior was really pretty tho.  

Went to Paragon for macaroons but they were full so we went to Toys 'R' Us to fool around haha. Cheryl was dancing to Gangnam Style down the aisle omg hilarious. We bought bubbles (because they were on offer) and went to Mandarin Gallery but Antoinette was full too. So we just walked over to 313 to get Gongcha and took the long escalator up to OC's rooftop garden. Sat in the shade and had such a great time talking and laughing. When we were about to go we decided to just go take pictures at the garden. Had such a fun time with these babes!!! Can't wait for more makan parades haha.

Alfresco dining under the stars with the fam afterwards :')

Monday

Beach with Micaela Jade Claudia Celeste :-) Alison and Sara were supposed to come too but they had tuition til 2 and the beach got really hot and boring so we went to bathe and met them at Vivo afterwards. Had an indoor picnic outside Daiso and had such a great time laughing at all the stupid things we (mostly Celeste and Alison) do. Then we went out to take pictures with Hubert and Gilbert haha. 

Me and Hubert.

Micaela and Celeste with Gilbert's castle haha. The sign says "Do not sit."

Busy but hella great post-exam long weekend! 

This song made me cry on my way home today.

The way his voice breaks and slides over and hits every note so imperfectly perfect is just so.. touching. I really love this guy and guess who stayed up til 3am for him? It's so heartbreaking to watch him cry on The Glee Project, it's like you just want to go up to him and hug him and tell him how amazing he is. I love Nellie and Blake and Michael too, but Abraham, boy oh boy, is he so very special. He is so brave and inspirational and vulnerable at the same time it's crazy. I don't think anyone is ever so broken it's beautiful, yknow? And to take all the nasty things that people have said and done to you before and channel it into something so meaningful and inspirational, is so so brave. I love you Abraham please never stop singing even when you go back to law school.

Please please please go watch The Glee Project Season 2, it's the best season yet and it's so touching me and Micaela cry at every episode. If you can't wait for it to show one episode per week on Starworld COME FIND ME OMG I'LL LINK YOU. These people are so amazing you just wanna let the whole world know about them. 

#GaySwag

I'm so sorry for neglecting this little space. I literally have no life right now except the life I have with my books but anyway I promise to update when I get my life back.

We all want what we can't have.

And I guess that's what makes us want it more.

(I guess that's why I want you more)

August

Already?

Tom Daley

Here's to the most perfect thing alive.